Updating feelings and thoughts [the search continuous]

[Las siguientes son notas desordenadas escritas en un cuaderno, no todo está ahi...]
"It's been a long time since I don't write something about me...
I guess my next task is to discover a way to be happy, 'cause I was so wrong thinking that a person was my only happiness, but I don't need to write about it, the dissapointment..."
"Friends :D ... may be an answer!!?? right? o.oI know it sounds kind of selfish, but that is love too, and better than "love" if you know what I mean? [wTF]¿? but friends--- oh WAIT! there's another problem though, No offense but, I almost have no friends :/ I mean, True friends, no more than five , and... I don't want to live lying to the rest pretending to be happy. Of course I need to have "fun" [why/when did I write that? D:] and spending knowing a little bit more my friends, that's grear for me anyway...And I must thank to them for teaching me things about life and details (:..."

"I`ve Changed my look :O Yes, short hair ¬¬ but since I ended, my hair got weaker, and I had to cut it, sometimes it looks nice :/ "

"I've lost a lot of "friends" u.u well, those were FAKE!!!!! I fell so dissapointed, but well... because of the remaining ones, kind of makes me happy, a bad thing is that I don't care D: I'm living in an state of nothingness and present being consumed by some part of my past, and I have no certain about my future, everything is IMPERFECT! my feelings and thoughts, but I'm happy or just so fragile or easy to break.."
" I love Silent Hill 3 ._. Anyway, the only thing that keeps being certain is that I'm weird ^^".

Esto no lo escribí en Inglés [I dunno why] hace unos días:
"...No odio a nadie y tampoco es la típica "me dan lo mismo" si no es que allá ellos si no me pescan o me han hecho algo, es más, me siento dolido si la persona es importante o le tengo cariño, ... pero son personas y cometen errores y tampoco es que me crea mejor que ellos, no lo soy en absoluto, pero ya que ellos o la mayoria no tienen la capacidad reflexiva y reguladizadora sobre sus actos y pensamientos. No espero más de ellos y simplemente se alejan de mi y siempre con una equivocada idea de mi peculiar ser ):"

Otro hecho:

"Don't you never travel without your headphones with music, beacuse it's like being in Coma or something like that, and I said that 'cause last week my left headphone failed, and that means NO MUSIC for me T.T ...And I've been travelling without somethinf so esential for me, so in consequence I fall asleep and such thing has never happened to me before. D:
And talking about music, on these last days I've been listening a lot the Silent Hill 3 OST and it is very peculiar though o.o
My Chemical Romance is lauching new songs and their new album comes out this November 22, two days before my F*cking B~day :D ... I can't wait to listen all those new songs xd I've already listened three and they are so motherf**king awesome! x3
So I guess that I'm supporting my life//happyness on this, oh, by the way Rock Band is awesome too XD :D."

My last written thought was...
" I don't know why but I want a person to trust in me, and shehidesher deep thoghts when I'm open for them. I feel the need to help ...but anyway, those are my ImperfectXfellings (:"



Cold as Ice, and my favourite colour!